I recently discovered a product on an expat forum that worries me. Product managers’ creativity obviously knows no bounds. Anything to get people to buy their product, and not somebody else’s. Now we have the Musical Sponge Bob Rectal Thermometer.

Source: above website

So not only can you convince your child that sticking a thermometer up their **** is good for them because it’s from Sponge Bob, once they’ve thought through the benefits of having their favourite cartoon character inserted into their behind, they can sing along merrily to the theme tune.

Worryingly – considering the places it might be stuck – it’s also bite-proof. Well, if USPs are what you need, this one has crammed in plenty.